My Time Has Not Come Yet

Most of us have been in this situation: We’re at the family BBQ, or home for the family Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.  While everyone is eating and having a good time, there’s that one (or more) relative who will ask us that million dollar question, “Sooo….when are you getting married?” or “Why aren’t you married yet?” We may be content as single people, enjoying where the Lord has us at this time. But some of our family and friends ask us this question like marriage is a rite of passage to a successful life. They mean well, but some ask us why we’re not married, as if something is missing if we don’t have a spouse. Even with the best intentions, they subtly project that pressure on us to get married. In other instances, we may put the pressure on ourselves to get married. When we are asked about our marital status, or see pictures of people in relationships, married or engaged and we’re still single, we may start to wonder if something may be wrong with us, especially if we’re over a certain age. So how do we deal with that?

Jesus Christ is our perfect example, and knew better than anyone what it was like to deal with pressure from other people. Jesus attended a wedding in Cana. (The Bible does not say, but who knows, some of his peers there may have asked Him when He’ll be getting married!) After a while, His mother came to Him with an emergency situation–they were out of wine (John 2:3). According to Jewish culture, this was not good at all! Jesus’ mother knew He had the power to do miracles, which is why she came immediately to Him. Jesus knew the pressure was on Him. He handled it well, and showed us the best ways to respond to the pressure from people who want us to get married soon and very soon!

1. Our time has not come yet! When Mary told Jesus the wine ran out, He didn’t panic. He responded, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come”(John  2:4, NKJV). Jesus didn’t rush and say, “Oh my goodness, let me go fix this now!” He let His mother know that there was a set time to accomplish what God wanted Him to do. When we feel the outside pressure to get married, the enemy is saying to us, that we’re out of time. For some of us who are over 35 years of age, we may be tempted to think to ourselves, “My goodness, I’m at this age and still single, I need to find somebody NOW!” So when our loved ones ask us when we’re getting married or why we’re not married yet, we can tell them with confidence “My time has not come yet.” This is because we’re operating under God’s timing. God is still preparing us and the mates He has for us. We’re letting them know that we’re submitting to God’s will for our lives, and not to their expectations. Some of our loved ones do ask this question from a genuine place, because they know we’d make wonderful mates for someone. But there are those who’s ready to interview us on why we’re not married and set the wedding date for next week! I remember my mother telling me how people will ask when I’m getting married. Once I’m married, they’ll will then ask when I’m going to have children. When we try to please people, we step out of God’s will, and lose ourselves and happiness in the process.
2. We must ask God what He wants us to do in this season of singleness. Mary told the servants at the wedding “Whatever He tells you to do, do it (John 2:5, NKJV).” As God prepares us for marriage, He doesn’t want us sitting around waiting for the wedding day. God has a unique purpose for all of us to fulfill as singles. That’s what Adam did before the Lord presented his wife Eve to him. God has placed in us some awesome dreams and visions for us to accomplish, like starting that business, writing that book, or going back to school, just to name a few.
3. Let’s enjoy ourselves in this season of singleness! Jesus did more than just ministry during His three years on earth. He actually had a life! When Jesus went to the wedding, He a had good time and enjoyed Himself. Also, the Bible tells us that He cultivated other relationships, by spending time with close friends and having fun with children. God has blessed us in this season of singleness with the freedom to draw close to Him, and do things we love to do. While we look forward to marrying that special person, there are some blessings to being single. We can come and go as we please without having to answer to anyone. For example, when we’re ready to go on a trip, out to eat, or hang out with friends, we don’t have to wait for someone else to get ready to go with us. When we’re ready everybody is ready! Besides, when we create our own happiness and exciting life, a potential spouse will be automatically drawn to that!

Let’s remember that our times are in God’s hands (Psalm 31:15) and He knows the best time to bless us with the desires of our hearts.  Some singles have jumped into relationships and marriages not ordained by God, partly because they gave in to pressure from family and friends. Let’s stay close to God and act when HE gives us the greenlight to move forward.  And when He does bless us, we will see that He has truly saved His best blessings for us!